Everyone just has one of those nights, right?
On a physical note, I think I’m starting to develop a sore throat. I dunno if it’s an allergic reaction to something, ’cause today I was sneezing like anything on the way to visit my mom in the hospital. I’ve gotten something like this before, and it sucks ’cause my nose is runny and my throat is sore and I’m up at 2:49 AM writing a blog that will probably make no sense because at the moment I make no sense.
Second note — I realize that I haven’t written on my blog in a while. I was about to check the last time I wrote, but then I got lazy so I decided to just jump into it and write anyway. I promised myself that I’d try to keep this going, but sometimes I find myself staring at a screen with the title erased five times over and the straight line where text is supposed to be blinking steadily back at me. Then WB (Writer’s Block, as everyone knows him) simply smirks at me from a dark corner in my head and just lures me back into his arms. He is cold, hard and empty. What makes tonight different? I got drunk on thoughts and I decided to puke all over him. He’s currently glaring at me in disgust, but I’m too inebriated by my thoughts and feelings to care otherwise.
Third note — I hate feeling trapped. I hate the feeling that I’m trying desperately to break free from whatever is chaining me down, but I can’t. Sometimes I don’t even recognize what’s trapping me. Are they chains? Is it a cage? Am I just trapped in a room and someone locked me in? Or am I in a huge-ass labyrinth with hardly any sense of a way out? Regardless of any of these circumstances though, I am still trapped. And I hate that feeling more than my sore throat at the moment, and that’s probably saying something.
Fourth note — Watch Genesis. It’s a blueREPERTORY play that I musically directed. At one point I seriously thought that I wouldn’t invite anybody, but at this point, I suppose it doesn’t hurt. I heard they had a really good show today — probably because I didn’t watch, haha — so I think it’s something that y’all should catch if you’re within the Metro Manila area. The material is excellent, albeit damn difficult, so I think you guys would be interested in it either way.
Fifth note — I was watching Before Sunset until my sore throat pissed me off and I couldn’t enjoy it anymore. I love Before Sunrise and Before Sunset mainly because of its dialogue. I mean, of course the whole story revolves around their dialogue and how everything just magically weaves together in an intricate web of gorgeous European-romantic-feels-movie goodness, and I dunno, I just really appreciate that. Lately it’s just been so hard to find good conversation. Why is it so difficult to sit down over a cup of coffee or a cold beer and just talk about ideas and abstract concepts, things beyond people and the daily grind? Is it because we’re too tired to think? I don’t know. I don’t really have the answers to anything at the moment.
Sixth note — Despite how tired I am, I don’t understand why I’m not sleepy right now.
Seventh note — I’d normally just talk to someone, but said someone is asleep. Funny how in some situations, the tables have turned.