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It’s funny, how getting over a production feels like letting go of a vice.

It literally feels like you’ve gone cold turkey over something that you were attached to for so long. You wake up the next morning, suddenly finding yourself unfamiliar with your routine. You walk around like a ghost, still managing to go on autopilot — eat, teach, work, eat, sleep, eat, eat, eat.

Then, come 4:00, you start to fidget. You know it’s nearing, and your muscles almost wonder why we’re not doing what we’re usually doing. Come on, bitch, get your ass moving! You’re gonna be late — oh.

And really, it’s more than just having something to do during the late afternoons. It’s more than playing a part, learning the songs, practicing the choreography. It’s holding onto something that you invested so much into, only to know that you have to let it go after four months. It’s letting your character seep into you, slip into the nooks and crannies of your life without you knowing it and teach you things about yourself that you had long forgotten or you wished you knew before, back when you were young and naive, or whatever the hell that means. It’s creating moments with people who invested just as much of themselves as you did. It’s losing yourself in this life that you get to live in, even just for a moment, because what’s living, really, if not for the moments that truly make you feel alive?

And knowing that the moment’s over, and it’ll be God-knows-when until you have that moment again, kinda just makes you feel empty. And really, how do you rise up from being empty?