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Funny how that phrase can mean so many things.

Sa Wakas, meaning “the end.” In the past month or so that I’ve been offline (in terms of blogging), I could say that a lot of things have ended. I wish I could say that some other things have ended, but I am not so lucky. However, I am happy to say that I have learned so much in the past month, I don’t even know where to begin talking about it.

After getting a job, I quit after two months. A huge chunk of the reason was because I needed to help my mom manage her businesses, and I really believe it to be the reason because I really would have stayed a bit longer to see what I could squeeze out of the experience. But quitting my job also meant another thing — I’m done with jumping into things without really thinking about them. I admit that I had gotten my job because I needed the extra money, which shouldn’t be the sole reason as to why one gets a job anyway. Knowing that my next job (whichever that may be) would be one that I really hope to enjoy and learn from is very exciting. I’m glad that my impulsiveness regarding careers is (hopefully) over.

Well, very literally, Sa Wakas is over. I don’t know if I ever mentioned it in this blog, but I was part of a production called Sa Wakas, which was a work in progress musical featuring the songs of Sugarfree. It’s been a crazy four months having to deal with intensive rehearsals, balancing my two jobs and flak from my parents regarding my life choices, but I have to say that every bit of it was worth it. I feel like I’ve grown so much as a performer in the past four months, and I am even gladder to say that I have gained a new family and new insights about myself and what I choose to do with my life.

Sa Wakas dealt with the transition of young hopeful youths to more realistic twenty-somethings. If there was anything I appreciated the most of the storyline is really the way the writers (shoutout to Andrei and Ina here!) mapped the decisions of the main character and how each of those decisions affected the way his life turned out to be. It was amazing how the storytelling showed how one decision affected another throughout the story, and it really hit me that each of the choices I make now will have an impact, however small, on what happens to me later on. I always knew this at the back of my mind, but it never really seemed to slap me in the face until now. I really thank the production for that.

But more importantly, I love how the phrase sa wakas could mean “at last.” I guess for the past few months, I have been feeling so trapped in all aspects of my life. I felt like all the odds in the world were against me, and I honestly had no idea what to do about it. But getting the chance to really sit down, think and reflect on my choices and what my next move will be is such a blessing. At last, I can finally feel my lungs breathe. At last, I can finally pause for a moment and really contemplate on what I choose to do with my life. At last, I can finally appreciate all the bumps in the road that led me to the crossroads that I am in now. At last, I can finally say that I am ready to start making decisions on my own.

The past month has offered me so many opportunities to grow. I’m glad I’m growing. I’m glad that this hazy, blurry part of my life is starting to end. And the best things about endings is that they offer new beginnings. Here’s to seizing the new beginnings that I’m sure are coming my way. 🙂

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