Do you know how much my heart longs for you?
Its fingers are outstretched, wishing it could touch you. Its eyes find you the moment you walk into a room. Its lips are already parted, ready with a stream of words to begin a conversation with you. It knows when you’re near. It knows when you’re too far. It memorizes every bit of you. It wants you that much.
But, you must know how much my head restrains it.
When my heart’s fingers are outstretched, my head reaches out and folds them closed. My head blindfolds my heart’s eyes the moment you walk in. My head stuffs my heart’s mouth with insecurities, stammers and lame jokes. My head pulls my heart away when you’re near. My head laughs when you’re too far. My head clouds my heart with memories of you, memories that I wish I could forget but I can’t. My head hates you.
My head locks my heart up. My head chides me, “I just don’t want you to get hurt again.” And as much as my heart pleads, begs and cries for you, my head pats my heart gently and murmurs,
“Maybe the next one. Just not this one. Not now. Not ever.”