, , , ,

Moments like these hurt.

She straddled her feet on the fence, her feet dangling over both sides. The sun shone high above her head, and she felt the sweat trickle down her neck and soak her shirt through. The sky was clear. It was a beautiful day, but it hurt.

There was a cocktail party. The huge backyard was packed with people dressed in fancy coats and ties and frilly dresses. She herself was clad in a pretty blue sundress and pearls, her hair tied up in a bun. They were serving caviar on small pieces of crostini and champagne in high glasses; the men were talking about business and the women were talking about getting married. In all honesty, she found the sight beautiful – but she didn’t really know if she could live this life forever. This life meant sitting down with your hands over your lap and your feet crossed under your feet. This life meant smiling when you didn’t really want to and saying things you didn’t mean. This life meant sleeping early and waking up early, and doing every other thing the way they wanted you to.

She peered over towards the other side. The wind brushed lightly against her face, causing her to smile. A lake shimmered brightly against the sun, and children were laughing and splashing by the shore. Although they were dressed only in rags, no one could mistake the wide smiles on their faces and the laughter that the breeze carried over to her. Their slim figures tackled each other in the water, singing and laughing like nothing else mattered.

One looked up at her, his sunburned cheeks breaking into a small smile. He gestured for her to come over, to splash in the water with them. The other children took notice, the friends that she had before she was mandated to go to all these cocktail parties and gatherings, and they waved and yelled at her to come over and swim with them, just like old times.

She just sat there, unsure of what to do. When will she ever be sure?