I treasure moments like this.
I arrive home after two hours of note-taking and analysis of readings at Saint’s Alp. There are dirty dishes in the sink, piles of paper and books on my dining table with barely any space to even set a plate of food on, and my HP Envy begging for me to open it. The room smells faintly of Berkeley tap water (which I immediately mask with Lysol, because it’s a disgusting odor), and the faint buzz of the electricity powering my refrigerator meets my ears.
I decide to clean – this is a rare moment; if one were my roommate she would know that I am not fond of doing dirty dishes. But I do them anyway, putting on some music to keep me interested instead of giving up completely on my dirty plates.
Afterwards, I boot up my laptop and lazily browse through my Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr – as a true Internet-social-networking addict. My favorite has to be Tumblr – it’s the most interesting one, with beautiful people (celebrities), places (hipster pictures of the city, the beach and the countryside), and things (adorable baby animals and sushi). Here and there I find profound quotes from books and people, quotes that hit or miss based on how I feel or what experiences I focused on during the day.
I treasure moments like this, when my head isn’t on overdrive from studying law or even from thinking about things that make me feel sad. I treasure moments when my head is just as noisy as the buzz of the refrigerator or a passing motorcycle on a free Katipunan road. I treasure moments where I feel a sense of peace, a sense of contentment that I am alive, with a hunger that I can easily fix, with a mind that isn’t exhausting through piles and piles of shit that I make myself go through, with a heart that always thirsts for something good – like sushi, Tom Hardy and certain people.
I treasure the fact that I feel this way. A couple of years ago, I hated being alone. Just the thought of eating dinner alone freaked me out more than I could ever admit. Now, I even prefer going to Saint’s Alp alone – just to get things done and to contemplate about things over a plate of dumplings (sidenote: never go on Thursdays because they’re always out by then) and a small pot of sumiyaki coffee. Now, I don’t mind having time to myself. I think everyone needs a little me-time, aside from you know, going to the bathroom by yourself. One should always be a little claustrophobic – having too many people should incite a fear of having too little space. One should learn to breathe without other people teaching them how.