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Today, for the first time, I didn’t wake up to my alarm.

I had set it for 5:30 AM, to catch up on some last minute readings for Criminal Law at 8, but when my eyes opened to 8:42 AM screaming digitally at me through my iPhone, obviously that plan flew out the window faster than I could say, “Shit” and bury my head underneath my pillow.

The only possible insight anyone could get from that is that I had gotten too used to the sound of my alarm, which only meant that I had to change it to a new one. But knowing me, the weird, analytic person I am, I thought about the fact that it’s already been a month into law school, and already I had slept through an alarm. That probably meant I lacked too much sleep, and my body demanded for more than just three hours. That probably meant that this routine had sunken deep into my bones and to the recesses of the even darker bags underneath my eyes. That probably meant that fatigue was already plunged deep into my system. The fact that I’m even thinking this way, and that I’m analyzing about why I’m thinking this way are clearly indicative of one thing – I probably just forgot how to relax.

But no, really. It feels like it’s been ages since I’ve remembered how to really relax. Sure, I’ve had a couple of Friday afternoons and Saturday nights here and there, trying to calm my nerves with a drink or seven. Sure, my nail beds cannot be salvaged at a certain point – and I only care about this because I run out of things to chew FAST – and that supposedly relaxes me. Sure, I cook and make coffee to take a breather in between long readings. Sure, I spend half my allowance on fishballs, bananacue and calamansi juice. But apparently, law school’s got me even crazier that my brain is too fried to even recognize the ringing of my alarm.

No wonder they say lawyers are some of the most dignified assholes you could ever meet. I mean, you gotta give them some credit, right? They went through four years of coffee, mountains of readings, sleepless nights with the Constitution and the adrenaline rush of a professor pulling out a class card. These people go through hell and high water for people they are hired to protect, and they do a pretty damn good job of it unless they commit some grave abuse of discretion.

Really, guys – at the end of the day, some lawyers are assholes because they just want to sleep. They may be crazy – but after what you go through in law school, you gotta admit they’re crazy good.