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We really shouldn’t have gone on that boat.

I mean, you had your boat and I had mine – two separate boats, both sturdy, safe and stable. Then you just had to go and bump your boat with mine, and now our ships are broken and we’re stuck on one of those orange inflatable rafts together. Pathetic, yet particularly exciting and beautiful.

I sincerely believe you are a pirate, because pirates steal things. You always steal the opportunity to talk first in a conversation (although that has no protest on my end), you always steal time after countless hours of conversation and once again you steal something from me that I wasn’t intending to give. You are a mean, true pirate – and I hate you.

I can’t even write this properly, because you don’t make me think straight and you make me idealistic and completely, utterly irrational.

I will edit this when I can, but god, I love hate you.