Sometimes, I miss being part of a couple.
I don’t know. It’s more than just having someone to have dinner and catch a movie with. It’s more than having someone to chill with at home or to drive around the village with. It’s more than stolen kisses and holding hands while driving. It’s more than moments, really.
I don’t even know if it’s the entirety of it all. I don’t know if it’s the thought of having someone to bear your soul to, or someone whom you can rely on for anything and everything. I don’t know if it’s the thought of being able to take care of someone affectionately or the thought of being relied on, knowing that you’re wanted. I don’t know if it’s simply because being in a relationship is feeling normal, like this – only knowing there’s someone else there, someone whom you appreciate and love wholeheartedly.
Is it weird to feel like I love so much in general, that sometimes even loving my family and friends isn’t enough? I shower my friends with love and affection, and I do the same with my family. I just – I feel like there’s still so much love in me to give, and to give a different kind to a different person entirely – without really asking for anything in return. No expectations, nothing. Just giving pure, happy love. It just feels like so much sometimes that I want to explode and just – gah. GAH.
That last line didn’t make sense. Well, whatever – not like what I’m saying makes sense either, right?
I don’t know if I’m ready to be in a relationship again – then again, how do you know if you’re ready? – but god, I sure miss being in one.