It’s a natural tendency, I think, to let things linger. When something good happens to you, you’re on this amazing high that leaves you elated for days. You savor that feeling for so long, and even when that feeling’s gone it doesn’t take too much for you to make it come back. However, when something bad happens to you, it takes forever for you to let it go. It may take days, weeks, months, even years – and to think that according to some source I don’t even remember, pain only lasts fifteen minutes. It doesn’t feel like fifteen minutes.
I personally think that you need to let things linger, even the painful feelings. Sure, there are a couple of easy things you can get over in fifteen minutes – a burn on your arm, or a scar on your knee from falling. It teaches you quickly enough for you to know that touching fire will get you burned, or that you need absolute balance to stay on a bicycle. Things like that, you don’t need to let linger so much. But how about deeper stuff? How about those emotional scars? Is it really enough to teach you something in fifteen minutes?
I let pain linger. I sound masochistic, but I need to let it linger. I let pain linger because I need to know why I failed. I need to know why it had to happen. I need to know where I went wrong. I need to know the circumstances. I need to know – so I don’t fail. So it doesn’t happen again. So I know what to do to do it right the next time. I let pain linger, because it’s a constant reminder that I feel something, that something’s tugging hard at my soul, that it bothers me. I let it linger because it shows me that I’m alive, that I’m human.
Letting it linger doesn’t mean letting it stay. Lingering means you’re on your way out, just slower. Once you know why the pain is there, you need to work your way towards letting it go. Letting pain stay is not such a good idea. The anguish will tear you apart. It can destroy you. And nothing or nobody is worth destroying yourself over. Lingering gives you the chance to let it hold on, but the even bigger chance for a bigger, stronger self to make sure the pain won’t carry you away.
The best thing though, I must say, about letting things – or people – linger? Sometimes in the end, they choose to stay. Why? It’s maybe ’cause they were letting you linger in their lives, too – and in the end, they wanted you to stay. Not because it’s painful, no. Because even if it was painful – it was fucking worth it.
Now that’s elation at its finest.