I just came home from an amazing Baguio trip with my family and a couple of my beautiful friends, but I shall expound on that trip another time with matching pictures and an intensive, well-thought-of commentary. For now, I think I’m going to focus on the fact that I hadn’t gone online in four days except for my Twitter and e-mail access on my cell phone.
My connection to the world around me is usually the Internet. A lot of people constantly rely on it – like my friend Roxci, who had to bring one of those broadband USB connections to Baguio just to access her internet – and I admit that I’m one of those people. However, I chose to extract myself from my Internet-addicted self when I went to Baguio, and I must say that it brought interesting results on my cognitive and emotional processes… Yeah, I’m a Psych major, guys. Deal with it, and love me.
I chose to stay away from the Internet in Baguio because I felt like I needed to clean myself from the things that have been – for lack of a better phrase, causing me pain on the Internet. It cannot be blamed that there is always going to be a reminder of the tragedies (I’m trying not to sound too overly dramatic by using that term, sorry) that I have experienced in the past few months, and I’m not upset about the reminders. I’m upset by my reaction to them – thoughts and heavy feelings plaguing my mind and really filling me with unsettling feelings about people, events and especially myself. Things have been coming back in full force, as much as I hate to say so, and the onset of a relapse may be coming on. I felt that by staying away from the Internet and exchanging it for cold fresh air, tons of food and the company of my beautiful and amazing family and friends would make me feel better. And it did, really – it just came back with a runny nose, tonsilitis and a slight fever. Huhu.
When I was away, I thought about a lot of other things. I listened more appreciatively to my friends, I spent more time with my family instead of ostracizing myself from them like I usually do when I have Internet, and I even stayed away from my lovely but radiation-filled laptop. I didn’t think about the pain unless someone else brought it up, and when I did I thought of the experience more clearly than I do when I’m on the Internet. I became more satisfied with myself – I don’t know how that’s even correlated to my lack of Internet, but I did feel better towards myself compared to when I’m online – and I felt happier, despite the late night sawi talks I had with my friends that went on until I fell asleep on them (heehee, sorry guys).
I wish that the detox weekend I had from the Internet had lasting results, but when I went online everything came flooding back. As much as I would like to say that I’m okay, I still think I’m not. But, thankfully it doesn’t hurt to have slow and steady steps to become a better person than I was before with that kind of experience under my belt.
For those who need detoxing, I seriously suggest taking tons of time away from the Internet (if the Internet’s kinda your life and all that jazz). Read a book, or have a meaningful face-to-face conversation with somebody. In a span of three days, I was able to finish all the stickers needed for a Starbucks planner (with tons of help from my amazing friends and my family) and I was able to catch up on some sleep, reading and lovely conversation. Hopefully, by exchanging the Internet with another kind of activity, it’ll not only help you detox physically (in terms of radiation and sluggishness and all that) but also emotionally.
Oh, the Internet – can’t live with or without you.